Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Suck Meter: April 29

Surprise! It's a last-second blog so I don't fail. Also, sadly, it is the last Suck Meter reading. So let's see who "won"!

After a hard-fought battle between the Nats and O's this year, the overall loser is... area fans! Congrats everybody, we did it again!

Nationals. After making a serious run at a winless season, the Nats have been on fire lately, going 3-7 in their last 10 games. Jordan Zimmermann is a pitcher who also has a pulse AND can get people out, which is either a late April Fool's joke or a sign of the impending apocalypse.

Bad Clubhouse Guy Adam Dunn has six homers and is OPSing over 1100. And don't look now but Ryan Zimmerman has had a pretty good start to the season too. Unfortunately, even with all this promise, the team is still 4-15. Just imagine what happens if these guys cool off. It's going to be a really long summer full of empty stadiums.

One major reason the Nats are so bad is the bullpen. The only guy who looked like he was going to be able to throw baseballs at major league hitting, Joe Beimel, is hurt. That leaves guys like Saul Rivera (who has given up an abysmal 11 earned runs in 9 2/3 innings), Joel Hanrahan (8 ER in 8 1/3) and Wilfredo Ledezma (6 ER in 5 2/3). Awful, awful, awful.

This is going to be a bad, bad year. We'll see you at Steven Strasburg.

Verdict: Ugh. 1.

Now here's a team that sucks gloriously. Our "loser" for the I-95 Suckfest, the Orioles actually show some promise before blowing games in any number of heartbreaking fashions.

The Orioles certainly have a major league lineup this year. Adam Jones, Aubrey Huff, Brian Roberts and Nick Markakis have been tearing it up this year. Too bad there has been absolutely no pitching to speak of, or else this team would be cared about outside of Baltimore.

"Staff Ace" Jeremy Guthrie has a 5.20 ERA in his first 27 2/3 innings, and he's been the bright spot. So far in the young season, only three pitchers on staff have ERAs lower than Koji Uehara's 4.56. Three! That's unconscionable. And those three guys have pitched a combined 23.1 innings. Yikes.

This is going to be a bad, slightly-less-worse-than-the-Nationals year. See you at Matt Wieters.

Verdict: Barf. 1.

Overal Verdict:
Since this is the last post, I've gotta call it for the Nationals. The O's gave a valiant effort to suck as hard, but they've been streaky. Washington fields a team that is consistent in how terrible it is, and for that reason, your 2009 I-95 Suckfest Champion is the Washington Nationals.

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