Sunday, April 19, 2009

Suck Meter: April 19

Wow, what a difference five days make. The worldbeating Orioles are now the mediocre Orioles. Coming soon to a theater near you: The irrelevant Orioles! Thanks for playing, guys.

Today's Suck Meter provides a first: I can't go on keeping the 2009 Nationals out of the all-time baseball cellar. In fact, at this point, I'm starting to consider if they're an even worse baseball abomination than Major League III: Back to the Minors.

Nationals. The only words that can be used to describe the Nationals this year can't be used on a family-friendly blog. Flat-out, this team sucks. After another loss to the surprising Marlins today, the Nats are sitting on an abominable 1-10. One win. Ten losses. If you extrapolate that out to a 162-game season, that's 15 wins. And honestly, I can't see this team winning even another 14 games.

The only time the Nats have won this season was last Thursday against Philadelphia and I don't think this team is ever going to win again. There's absolutely no reason to think that if this team comes into a game in Major League Baseball that they're going to come out with a win, unless the entire other team gets injured or has to forefeit or something. This is a baseball disaster.

Coming into today, somehow, Christian Guzman was the NL leader in batting average, just proving that sometimes some things just don't make sense. This is inconsequential and is in no way relevant to how this baseball team could or should perform. But for what it's worth, the guy was hitting .515 coming into today. The fact that we have a guy who is getting more hits than outs and one win just goes to show how few wins we're going to have when he evens out.

Lastings Milledge remains in the minors, so for all of you who had him in your headcase outfielders pool, congratulations. Sorry to those of you who had Elijah Dukes.

There's not much more that I can say for this team. Steven Strasburg isn't going to help. Larry Bird isn't walking through that door. Harmon Killebrew isn't walking through that door. This franchise just needs some kind of massive overhaul or huge lucky strike of some kind.

Verdict: This team will challenge to be the worst ever. Scratch that. This is going to end up being the worst team ever. 0.

Baltimore Orioles. Unlike the team down the road, at least these guys have a...pulse. Or I mean like, more than one win. But the weekend series against Boston just goes to remind us of the difference between a successful franchise and a franchise that is going to struggle. Namely, this difference is pitching.

The Orioles just plain have no pitching. And if Guthrie goes through a bad stretch, these guys are really going to feel it. Guthrie not on his game + Koji being a guy who is exceedingly hittable + whichever three homeless people are dragged into the stadium to pitch on the other three days + another not-so-good outing from Guthrie and you're looking at huge potential losing skids.

But at least we've got a team at .500 for now, which, in contrast to the Nationals is like a world champion. And one pitcher's better than none. And on top of that, Sleepy Jones has become a bona fide fantasy baseball superstar.

The Orioles are going to be all downhill from there, make no mistake. But this is a franchise with the pieces in place, sort of. As soon as some of these guys come through the farm system, we're going to have a much better idea of where this team is going in the coming years.

Verdict: Blowing the 7-0 lead was ugly, getting swept by Boston was ugly and there are a lot more ugly things awaiting this team this season. But again... at least it's not the Nationals. 5.

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